douyadou 的个人博客

    What is wrong with you, Dou! You are not who you are. Making so many ridiculous and foolish things, you come you give and without taking, without saying a word, however you are happy! While everything is peaceful, then you are unhappy. I don't know where your mind is! Does somebody else live in your body? Maybe in your opinion, to be needed is a kind of happiness, but what is on your mind? I know somebody stucks in your heart for a couple of weeks, but somebody doesn't know that at all! You don't even want to tell a word and you know you cannot make it at all. I know you are not truly happy, you always pretend well, pretend to be happy, pretend to be strong in front of people, you think if you wear a mask you can fool the world, but you cannot fool your heart. I know you are hurt in a way that nobody has never known, you don't want to say anything to anybody. Maybe you know the answer generally, but you don't want to admit it, that is not what you want, even beyond what you can bear and what you can accept.
    You are not truly happy, your smile is just a disguise you wear, you decide to lock your soul away forever. Ok, I respect your choice, you need somebody to break you, shake you even take you away. Dou, can you lick the wounds alone, and then continue to pretend in your life in the future, as you have never been hurt at all? Maybe everything will be taken away or fade away gradually as time goes by. 
    I know you want to escape from here, ok, go for it, wish you could make it, but now, come here, let me hold you tight, I know you really need it.

    爸是超有本事的人，如果我高兴了给他打个电话，他能马上让我郁闷；如果我郁闷了给他打个电话，他能马上让我更郁闷。
    屡试不爽，不服不行！我都佩服我妈，如何跟他过了20来年的！

有什么值得庆祝的吗？I don't know~

This blog has been deserted for quite a long time, because I am in no mood for it.
In the passed several months, I changed my job from medical field to luxury yacht field, from foreign trade to luxury product chartering, though I need to work in both Shenzhen and Hongkong, I cannot speak Cantonese, I can still handle all the problems. No matter what I did, I still have a same result that is jobless.
I don't know what is wrong with me. After graduation, I isolate myself, refuse to make friends, refuse social, I am not interested in anything. I lose Douyadouness, I am not who I am. Luckily, I still have some supportive guys, no matter what I did. I really miss you.
On my way home last year, I don't know why I made a new friend, because I don't like to talk with the strangers at all, especially after I worked. Maybe I think we have some same characteristics, likes and dislikes. I supposed that I could call him a real friend, and then he broke my heart, I have tried my best to help him to get rid of dilemma while I am still in trouble, I have shared my secrets with this so called friend, these todays, I am sensitive, and I find that he never talked to me initiatively, except for he needed my help, maybe he never wanted to talk with me at all. Anyway, this is my first friend I made in the passed three years after my graduation. when I am upset, I am hurt again in a way that he's never known, because I consider him as my friend, while "my friend" doesn't think so. My other friends give me an advice, tell him directly: Friends till today! However, I cannot bear to say that out. sigh, maybe I deserve it!!! On the other side, there is a girl crashing on me, though she indicated me several times, I don't like her at all. Until now, I found I never know somebody could leave such a deep impress on me, and that really hurt me so much.
Helplessly, so I went to Wong Tai Sin today, hope my family will be healthy, good luck could turn around me, but I got a very bad lot. Wong Tai Sin can you hear my prayer? Life sucks! Really sucks!
This time, there are many reasons for crying, but I don't have tears. Friends, can you hold me tight?

    不知从什么开始，朋友说我比以前沉默了，也许我知道，我一张嘴肯定是抱怨，所以还不如闭嘴。
    两周，跑断腿的面了能有20多家，最忙的时候一天4个面试。都说今年工作难找，在我这反而是遍地开花……给消息让我上班的，我不想去；我想去的，不给让我上班的消息。So，其实还是原来老套路，想找个自己满意的工作比较难。
    可能面试机会多了，我也变的比较挑剔，所以迟迟还没上班。形形色色的公司最近是真的没少见，给2k底薪还觉得自己给的贼多，口口声声地曰：现在招个应届的1k就够了。（我心里的os：妈的，那你招去呗，关大爷我p事！）不知道吉大为何种植物的，反而觉得唐山XX学院为名贵物种的。知道吉大，马上断定我能力超强，让我免参加复试直接上班的。面官故意刁难人的。面官觉得自己公司牛X上天，瞧不起人甚至羞辱人的。最近面试面的真的都有些恶心了。
    有个搞笑的事件：
    面官：你第一个月工资是怎么fa的？
    我：发到卡里啊……同时心想这有什么好问的吗？好在平时偶尔学湖南人讲话，so我马上反应过来，他一定是要问：你第一个月工资是怎么hua的？于是差点笑出来……赶紧重新做答。
    今天面试是最恶心的一次，我以敌对甚至嘲讽的态度以报之：
    10点到，我是第一个来的，做笔试题，然后无止尽的等候，前台进进出出经理办公室N次，也没个信儿，当等到一个小时的时候，决定不来这家公司上班。继续等候，终于前台通知我去见部门经理。
    面官：请坐。
    我：您不觉得您该先道歉吗？
    面官：笑，不好意思，刚才有点忙……
    我：面试的人都该死吗？这么不尊重人……
    面官：错愕……
    我：把我的简历还给我行吗？
    面官：呃，你这边是什么问题？
    我：贵公司门槛太高，我才疏学浅进不来。
    抽回简历转身走人……

    回家过了个年，百感交集，心里很不是滋味，无奈生活还得继续，我又回来了。
    找工作中……

    唯舞独尊世界巡回，大陆最后一站--深圳。场面火爆，舞蹈超赞，现场唱的也比想象中的要好~
    虽然不是特别喜欢Jolin，不过我很佩服她！

    香港之行挺爽，5JJ肚子真大，斗地主也能赢90大米我太厉害了~
    叶问挺好，日本料理又折扣，斗地主大脸耍赖……
    我要回家待业了，众亲们！